No matter the circumstances, a divorce represents a significant upheaval in the current family unit. From the division of formerly shared property to the determination of a parenting time schedule, the divorce process is a major turning point for the entire family. While it is easy for divorcing parents to become fixated on their own issues, it is wise to remain child-centered throughout the process.
Maintaining a neutral, child-centered perspective during the divorce is crucial to the overall health of the family unit. While every situation is unique, there are numerous tips that can help divorcing parents stay focused on this mindset, including:
- Parents must work together through the process: To often, the divorcing couple looks at the legal process as if it is a battle that must be won or lost. In these situations, the best interests of the children become a crucial factor. Familial experts caution divorcing parents that they must work together to achieve a compromise geared toward the best future for everyone. Adopting a less adversarial tone is the first step.
- Parents must look toward the future rather than focus on past mistreatment: Directly following the first tip, parents must negotiate and compromise with an eye on their future goals. Too many couples use the divorce process, namely parenting time and property division, as a way to punish their spouse for past indiscretions. Keeping firmly focused on building a strong future for the children is a healthy mindset.
- Parents must take the time to involve the children: While the children need not be privy to all the inner workings of the divorce process, it is wise to adopt an open and honest style of communication. You can learn what is bothering the children and what their goals for the future look like.
- Parents must work through the divorce in an efficient, productive manner: While reaching a compromise can often be a long path, divorcing parents must continue to stay focused on the task at hand. They can continue to move forward rather than becoming embroiled in heated, emotional disputes that serve no productive purpose.
Many psychologists encourage divorcing parents to remain child-centered from start to finish. Not only does this allow parents to maintain a more neutral perspective, but it helps them avoid the possibility of overlooking the children when negotiations turn heated.